while rubbing one off in the shower
it more had to do with fanaticism
as I have a tendency to believe pro-lifers are fanatics, that is
unless they're actually as scared
as I first gave them credit for...
it's all about seniority, really
an expectant mother is at least
twelve or thirteen, so that's not
really experience but it's time
put in, and that fetus hasn't yet
been cursed with life outside womb
so women should have veto power
and I've been one to think my father
always had the inalienable right
to end my existence as a minor
as he created me with his own
gravity is the ultimate arbiter
of fate when you're climbing
and ancient trees still crash down
under the weight of weather and saw
or rope tugged by the heavyweight
it is a monster still connected
by hunger and linkage in food chain
but really what I'm after is drift
double day of dream sleep after week
spent; what happened at an early age
we can't remember readily; it must be
unique perspective used by the dead
wallet found in packed jeans in trunk
full of pills, some painkillers, some
poison, coins made of cyanide embossed
in undecipherable German, beachhead
had to dig out the sandbank with pick
and this led to the companion dimension
full of phone calls and bad medicine
snow blind from the whitewash of dark
stunted by old growth of the remedy
of redwood monastery passing, cut tree
a cathedral ring sprouting steroid ally
following old trails on new streets
with every sign in Spanish and of 1970
there was an intermission she woke me
to revisit reality, I peed seated
and went back to bed but it was late
it was early, it was early in the world
it was timeless in the apartment
amid campgrounds and smoky highways
had to keep calm past the 82nd parallel
I'm 41.6 nautical miles behind record
in the ocean trench laughing at races
and had to hitchhike back from the pole
company of a sled full of broken dogs
pulling a red sleigh with anemic elbows
and heels full of slivers, blood blisters
but that memory is part of a world away
and who knows if it's a destination any
will return to, does a time yet to happen
have people who will say, comfortingly:
if you'd have been a little more patient
if you'd have only had faith
if you'd have waited
none of this would have happened
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