Maudlin Marauder Murtagh

George the cadaver didn't know what hit him. He was cold. And his breathing had ceased days ago. He was gray and stiff like how his Chinese launderer made his shirt collars, "X-Starched."
It had been over 72 hours and no one bothered to tell him what had happened. So he waited. Eventually he found himself disassembled, like an engine in auto shop, surrounded by supervised trainees. George thought it funny, that even in death, he was being the subject of more trainees. Everywhere he went in his life, whatever it was he needed on time, was always delayed because it was being handled by someone whose first day on the job it was. Fuck this, George thought. If they can't keep their turnover down they should pay them more. Why is the whole world retiring without having taught anyone along the way? Why is it our problem now? It's not like we haven't heard the whole fucking story of the greatest generation that we are not, the noble wars won, the tyranny averted. You spent so much time bragging about the battles of your youth, you forgot that the world is now full of seven billion people who have no marketable skills, and constantly shrinking resources and a lot of drugs and anger. But I don't blame you thinking "who cares" because you'll be dead by the time it matters.
Well now it matters, and the only difference is you're in a nursing home and I have the power to unplug you. Where will we put all the dead? What will we make of the new world? No one cares about anything but satellite television and Facebook. Here lies civilization, over-educated by poor humanities, under-paid for non-work, shuffling papers, "teaching," bored by the done-to-death of instant porn, internet poon, none interested in reading "The Palaz of Hoon." Even the most legitimate men are hiding forever behind a laptop screen, downloading.
George said a magic prayer which reanimated him, just this once. Jerking back tears, George the cadaver was back to virile and rosy-cheeked George Murtagh, claims adjuster-pimp extraordinaire, ready to rape the land and hit the high seas with his bounty of loot-to-be.