The realization that I have shortcomings and may never be of real consequence because I lack the talent and time in life to matter makes me feel confident and certain that as far as I am concerned I should end my life at once. As far as my family is concerned I should stay for making their days brighter but it is beginning to make me not care anymore about other people at all because when I'm gone they'll get over it and I will be free. Free at last, free at last.